Patrick and Lisa want to buy our house.

I love getting mail. Not email, regular mail. As long as it isn’t a bill.

Today I got a hand addressed envelope, and the return address was one of those free address stickers you get from some charity who wants you to give them money. I didn’t recognize the return address, nor the names of the folks who apparently sent me the letter: “Patrick and Lisa”.

Inside the envelope is a sort-of hand-written note. Sort of, because it was hand-written, then photocopied, then my name written in the blank spot after “Dear”. Here’s the text:

Dear Nicholas,

Hello, my name is Patrick and my wife’s name is Lisa. We would like to buy your house at: (our address). Please call us at: (their phone #).

Thanks,

Patrick

Well, Patrick (and Lisa), if you’re reading this, the house is for sale! I think you’ll really enjoy the work we’ve put into it, even though there is clearly a lot left to do. I expect that when you buy the house, you’ll want to follow our renovation plans to the letter. If you do, by this time next year you’ll have a new kitchen, new radiant floor heating, and a really sweet living room & dining room.

Our asking price is $10,000,000. I realize this is a bit high for this neigborhood, but I think you’ll really see this as a good, long term investment. (Pigeon Point is “up and coming”). I look forward to cashing your check!

Regards,

Nick (and my wife, Trissa)